Inpursuitof

Hands-free on the train when all you’ve got in your hands is your phone - potentially the fastest way to looking like a crazy that doesn’t involve indecent exposure/dribbling. When I look at you, I don’t think ‘wow, you are SO cool, you’ve got a hands-free kit’ I think ‘Who are you talking to? Are you talking to yourself? Where’s the nearest exit/adult?’ 

Technology. I love it. As part of one of the latter-end-of-the-alphabet generations (I lose track of which one), I have to. But there’s a line. When it makes your life more of a hassle, when you have to spend fifteen point nine five hours setting something up, or the program’s finished by the time you’ve decided what you want to watch, I just don’t see the point.

3-D TV? Why? Do I need to see someone buy a house in 3D? Do I not know what a house looks like? And the extra time of putting on your glasses, taking them off, putting them on again… forget it. By the time I’ve turned round to see what’s happening in 3D Hollyoaks four times while I’m cooking, they’ll have invented the next wave of televisual revolution. Blu-ray sits in a similar category of scorn. It’s like 12 year olds with iPhones. Do they really need it? REALLY? Do they need to check email on the go? Find out their nearest restaurant/bar/parking space? Keep on the pulse of the latest in news, views and automobiles?

Just chill out. Stop, put it down and pretend the last 15 years haven’t happened. I’ll be playing in my sandbox, thank-you very much, and reading a book.

1) Ed. This hasn’t happened yet, but I’ll put bets on it. Unless he reads this…

2) Sandwiches.

3) The woman who saw me trying to carry the above through a closed glass door.