Inpursuitof

In the last few years I have undergone a personal-space revolution. A 6th form common room that was all not-enough-chairs and a few years with my old boss have transformed me into loving hugs, cuddles and all their affiliated family members. I’ll happily hug near-strangers goodbye or greet someone with a kiss on the cheek, when before I would, shamefully, stand staring or shake their hand.

That is until, of course, you catch me on the fly, say as I’m walking past the front door in the middle of a party. Stop - no hammer time, no preparation. The social-calculus is flying through my head, FRIEND + THEIR FRIEND - 1ST INTRODUCTIONS+ ETIQUETTE - BODY LANGUAGE = ?????, and the best I have to offer is a mumbled hello and a 5 sixths of a nod. Then everything catches up but the moments passed and that’s your first impression gone and blown. It’s too late now. You can’t burst into the living room and cuddle them, this unknown entity you’ve just ignored in the hallway.

Recently I had a moment at work where my boss told me of some bad personal news and I froze. I wanted to give her a hug, it seemed the right thing to do, but I don’t know this woman, we’ve worked loosely together for just over a month, and I’m a good deal her junior. Was it appropriate? So I settled for the useless pat on the shoulder a minute too late… 

I admire the people who have the ease about them. They gracefully deploy exactly the right level of physical contact left, right and centre, leaving others with an inexplicable wave of friendliness to this new person in their lives. I’m endeavouring to learn, though, and as they sweep through on their clouds of hugs I intend to be running along behind. Awkwardly but with great enthusiasm.

1) Clare and Amber. I hope the above explains why the same names appear here regularly

2) A birthday card. Narrowly avoiding a massive faux pas.

3) The gentleman I held the door open for in Subway.